


Heaven Sent, Hell Bent

by princet_ro



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Needs a Hug, Heaven Sent Hell Bent au, How Remus hasn't been kicked out of the Lights is honestly astounding, I have no idea what to call this au, Other, Remus has like 1 braincell that just bounces around his head like the Microsoft logo, Remus is an asshole but not in the ways that matter, Roman is done with everyone's shit, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Technically a dark Roman au but also not yknow, The Dark is like hell but not quite bcz they're all stupid except Roman, Unsympathetic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Unsympathetic Morality | Patton Sanders, basically read the summary, but im here im queer and im ready to make roman sad here we go, its funny to me that I call myself a Logan kinnie but all I write is Roman angst, like...ig its a demon angel au but idrk, these tags are a mess, you'll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:07:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27248533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princet_ro/pseuds/princet_ro
Summary: Roman was demoted to demon status after a horrible accident. He’s been trying for years to get back to his old rank, but apparently saving thousands of lives through the power of sheer spite isn’t impressive enough. And to make it worse, Remus is an angel hell-bent (ha) on lowering himself to his brother’s level. What could go wrong?Almost anything.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, i personally dont write remrom so yeah this is platonic, platonic not romantic ok
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	Heaven Sent, Hell Bent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tws: abandonment mention, remus being remus, roman and janus being war criminals
> 
> Hi! I started writing this in a panikTM because meeting even one of my deadlines is a huge achievement that I didn't want to waste. Also Happy Halloween to perfectionist demons with dark pasts, chaotic gods with strong bonds towards pigeons, stupid lawyers who work in the background to get rid of horrible leaders but also know nothing except scooby doo, eat hot chip, and lie, sleep demons who like to kiss people in shady underworld apartment lobbies and all of the sanders sides shorts characters I have put into this fic <3

“Please stop trying to throw pigeons at people, it’s not even funny anymore.”

His twin jumped onto his shoulders and he (Did Not Scream) hissed under his breath, hitting him with the hilt of his sword in warning. As he returned his weapon to its hilt he took a glance at it, heart twisting painfully at memories of a white katana, studded with rubies and golds so much brighter and shinier than it was now. It had been shattered when he was thrown out left, the pieces recovered by Remus and reformed into a cutlass, colored a red so dark it looked almost black, rusting and broken. He missed his old sword.

He missed his old life.

Remus screeched in his ear, breaking him out of his thoughts. “Hey, Ro-bro! You okay? Your eye was doing the weird thing where stuff comes out of it. It was gross, even for me.”

“You mean crying?” He raised his eyebrow. “You do it too, and it’s not like you haven’t seen me cry before.” He didn’t realize he was crying. He thought he had used all of his tears up, but nevermind.

“No, you just cry...weird.” He said, and Roman snorted.

“Gee, thanks.”

“No, I mean-” He made a vague motion with his hands that involved a number of rude gestures, the word ‘fuck’ in sign language and several peace signs, “You cry this weird stuff. It’s like water, but it’s red. It’s what comes out of humans when you throw them off cliffs.”

“How do you- Anyway, I think you mean blood? And yeah, apparently it's a demon thing. According to Janus. Just a small plus in a sea of disadvantages.”

“So you all cry human fluids, basically?” Roman nodded in confirmation, watching the huge grin on his brother’s face with unease, “When I join you way down Hadestown I’m gonna cry c-” 

Roman shoved Remus away from him, wings flapping behind him uselessly. “Holy fuck, shut up right now.”

“The fact that you knew what I was talking about says more about you than it does me,” Remus smirked, ignoring Roman’s protests as he felt a pull on his wrist.

“Patton again?” Roman sighed, mentally flipping off the sun. He would usually actually do it, but seeing as Patton and Virgil already seemed to be in bad moods with the heat storm rolling in, he decided to keep it to himself. He was already hated by the entire Light Council, aggravating the leader would probably lead to Fried Butterfly Man.

Remus nodded, huffing up at the sky, “Alright, I’m coming! Geez, no need to throw a fit, _Dad,_ ” he spat out the word ‘Dad’ like it physically pained him, which it might have. “Sorry, Ro, gotta blast. You should too, if Pat in a Hat knows that we’ve been ‘fraternizing’ he’ll come down here and melt your face off. Which would suck ass because only I’m allowed to do that.”

Roman smiled fondly. “Of course.”

  
  


\----------------

Roman strolled through the Darkscape, which was basically just the only part of the Underworld that wasn’t full of human souls being eternally tortured. It was brimming with demons, but if you looked into the crowd you would be able to make out a couple of different faces- the sleep demon Remy pushing one of the angels up against the wall, their lips meeting in a forbidden spark; Pryce and Andy, two tormented souls whose love had gotten them out of their punishments; the two minor gods, Dayd and Harley, of light and emotion respectively, whose jobs had been taken over by _him_ and left them to fade, and so many more broken souls from the same shattered home.

They had all been Light Gods once. 

But _he_ had a very precise idea about what perfect was, and they weren’t it.

Roman stood in the elevator for a while, (the Dark was far more accommodating to its more physically damaged members) before getting out and pressing the bell on the sleek yellow door, which immediately started blasting the Scooby-Doo theme song at full volume. A wordless yell echoed from inside, muffled by the song, and he barged in, falling dramatically onto the carpet and screaming.

“You could have said hello first,” Janus pouted, rapping his knuckles against the door to stop Shaggy’s frantic screaming. He leaned over the other demon, kicking him lightly, “Hey. Are you dead?”

Roman sighed, wondering when he had become the only person in his social circle to have a functioning brain, “We can't die, Jinkies, that’s like the whole point.”

There was a pause, and Roman could practically hear the cogs in his friend’s brain turning like a hamster wheel, except the hamster was very old and only had one leg and was also most likely on drugs so the hamster wasn’t even really on the wheel and it was just violently shaking.“I knew that.”

“Sure, Jan.”

Janus turned away with a huff, grabbing two mugs from his old, rotting cabinet and pouring vodka into one and water into the other. Roman felt something slithering over his back, and he turned, scritching Lacy’s snout playfully. Lacy was Janus’s snake, who Roman had nicknamed Judgemental Shoelace when he first arrived. He eventually shortened it to Lacy, because he couldn’t fit Judgemental Shoelace onto her birthday card, and the name stuck.

“Would you rather be punch drunk or healthy?” Janus asked, setting the cups on the table and curling into a tattered old armchair, eyeing him in interest. 

“Punch drunk.”

“Really? That’s uncharacteristic-”

“Because I know that then I’ll be taking something away from you.”

He laughed as Janus kicked him again, taking the water and leaving the snake the vodka.

Suddenly, a knock sounded at the door, and he stiffened before slowly crawling underneath the couch. Not many people liked him in the Darkscape, and because he was also Public Enemy No.1 at the Lights, lots of his fellow fallen had somehow come to the conclusion that capturing him would restore their valor. (Surprise! It wouldn't.) He was only able to walk in without a disguise because of the whole ‘No Violence in the Lobby’ rule. Here he didn’t have that luxury.

A voice called over Scooby’s howling, “Hello? Is this apartment inhabited by a ‘Janus’, by any chance? Demon of Deceit, Hellscape lawyer? Helps Fallen Gods adapt to their new lives, fell for defying the King, and for speaking up against his highness?”

Roman held in a curse, shifting until he was poised to attack. He couldn’t make out the voice from where he was laying, but this really, really wasn’t good. Janus’s business had been kept a secret from the Lights for a reason, and it wasn’t just because he helped out the supernatural equivalent of war criminals. If they knew about it now, anyone who Janus had associated with were suspects. And the Lights were pretty good at making people talk.

“I’m sorry, I think you have the wrong house. I’m Missy, demon of invisibility. I would invite you in, but the room is… well, I think my function says it all.” The almost-silent click of Janus’s fingers as he shapeshifted wouldn’t have been heard through the door, but Roman nearly knocked himself out on the couch framework as he looked up in shock. He had seen Janus’s skills in action before, of course, but he didn’t think that he could still change his vocal chords after last time.

The voice hummed for a second, voice twinged with suspicion as they asked the next question. “Right, I apologize. I do have a few questions for you, Invisibility, this shouldn’t take too long. Merely a matter of making sure that you are who you say you are.”

“Of course. Fire away.” Panic mingled with Janus’s tone, and Roman wondered why he was so worried when he was doing so well.

“Firstly, what charges were you found guilty of that caused you to fall? And when did you fall?”

“M-My charges were for theft and illegal ownership of a Godly weapon. I was the God of Mischief, and I stole Moon’s helmet for a day. The situation was very hushed up. Moon fell three years ago and was replaced by the youngest member of the Light Council, Logic, seeing as he also presides over Space. I fell three hundred years before Moon, which should be about 1717 if my memory serves me correctly.”

“Thank you, Invisibility. Next question: have you ever come into contact with either Janus, more commonly known as Deceit, or Roman, whose function is rumored to be Lust.”

“No, I haven’t. I fell before Deceit did, and I haven’t ever seen him. He’s rumored to be a shapeshifter, but I personally think he’s just got some kind of invisibility himself.” Roman winced. _Really dodged a bullet there, Jan._ “I haven’t seen Lust either. Apparently he’s in hiding, I would be too, the shame would kill me.”

Roman forced himself to stay calm. Janus didn’t mean that, he just had to say it to be believable. He realized how tense his shoulders were. He hated his function. Remus loved it, naturally (not because of what lust actually was, neither of them really enjoyed that, but apparently Remus’s love for inappropriate jokes transcended the whole Lust thing.), but he longed for anything else- Hatred, Pride, Rage, Apathy- anything besides this. He told himself to pay attention to the conversation happening, and his stomach felt cold with dread at the voice’s final question.

“Well, all of your information seems to be in order. Except for one thing...I don’t know if I introduced myself. Brain, also known as the God of Truth. I took over one of your jobs when you fell, obviously. Now, Mr. Janus, would you mind explaining to me why everything you just said was a lie?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter should be out soon but I did get a shit ton of half term hw to do so honestly it depends on how long I can build a small model house <3 I hate it here I don't even own enough cardboard
> 
> i hope you enjoyed! kudos and comments aren't required at all but they are greatly appreciated so thank you if you do! 
> 
> (also shameless self promo i have a tumblr where i scream into the void about fics and ts sides, so if you want to hear about how much i Love and Kin Logan Sanders you can go to @not-a-morally-sufficient-reason)


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